When I arrived at Cantonuovo, I felt as though I were chained and in a wheelchair; I felt completely immobilised.
I didn’t know why, but then the Lord showed me.
I had always believed that God existed; I grew up in the Catholic Church and after many years I left it, and with it Jesus, dead, crucified on the cross as I had always seen him.
I then sought God in other spiritual paths: in Buddhism, Reiki, the New Age. I practised meditation and yoga, and attended meetings of the followers of Osho and Yogananda. Just for fun, I even had my future read through the casting of shells and the I Ching. I heard talk of love, peace, light and harmony, but I never encountered God in these paths.
To study Afro-Brazilian dance, I went to Brazil where I encountered Candomblé, a religion originating in Africa in which they worship what they call ‘saints’, but which are in reality evil spirits.
I didn’t convert to this religion, but I danced their dances and sang their songs, which were invocations of these spirits. Yet they were beautiful, lively dances and songs, with rituals full of flowers and colours. I knew nothing about these things, but in the meantime my life was getting worse and worse. When I returned from Brazil, I lived with a man who drank, took drugs and sometimes became violent. I had a very young daughter and lived in constant fear. I looked in the mirror and no longer recognised myself; I had a vacant stare that wasn’t mine. I didn’t know what to do; despite all my efforts, things didn’t change.
I was desperate! Then the Lord made sure I remembered Him; I cried out to Him, saying: “If You are the living God, I want to meet You and get to know You personally. Please, get me out of this hell!” And He did.
On 14 August 2012, I woke up and felt a deep, beautiful peace within me, and the absolute certainty that the Kingdom of Heaven exists. From that moment on, the Lord took me by the hand and guided me.
Through a video on YouTube, I discovered Cantonuovo; I went to Siena and found so much love and care from people who had never even met me. They prayed for me, and during the prayer I saw visions, including chains breaking. Jesus set me free and lifted me up; He showed me that the spiritual circles I had been involved in were darkness disguised as light, and by entering them I had allowed the evil one to bind me and begin to destroy my life. But the Holy Spirit is stronger and did not allow it; He set me free, protecting me and my daughter! I asked for forgiveness, I left everything behind, I burned all the objects linked to those circles. I received the baptism in the Holy Spirit and now I live with Jesus within me. There is no more violence in my life.
I know that He loves me unconditionally, something that was difficult for me to accept at first because I had always thought I had to earn love. My daughter has grown up and is doing well; I have a gentle and loving man by my side with whom I share the journey in Jesus. I have experienced the power of the Holy Spirit, His great gentleness and tenderness in guiding and correcting me. Sometimes I still fall back into the anxiety of having to do or be something, but thank God I have learnt that everything right to do is placed in my heart by Him; it springs from love and gives me peace.
Today I know that I am His daughter. Thank You, Lord!